Tuesday, July 15, 2008

"Waters That Pass Away" Sidebar: A Stunning Grasp of the Locale

Okay, Nannie Winston, you had me and then you lost me. You'll remember in the first chapter her description of the monotonous, unadorned Jersey countryside, which built up her credibility slightly since I actually drove through Jersey once (yes, on the way to Atlantic City, wanna fight about it?) and that's pretty much the way I saw it. But as part of the description of Westmore's office from our second chapter, which I didn't include the last post because life is too damn short, there's an incidental detail that sets off my B.S. alarms:
Near the west windows a shelf had been constructed upon which were arranged several earthenware pots planted with hyacinths and narcissi; the sweet, springlike scent of the flowers filled the room to an almost overpowering degree. Coming suddenly from the cool, fresh air of the outside world into the heat and perfume of this luxurious apartment, and already overwrought by an intensity of excitement, Helen felt herself all at once grow faint, and had not Mr. Westmore come quickly to her side, she would undoubtedly have fallen to the floor. (p. 37)
Remember, this part of the story is set in New York City. She's talking about cool, fresh air. In New York City. No sir, I'm just not seeing it. Especially during the thick of the Second Industrial Revolution. "Fresh" can't be that relative a term.

A little off the path, but that's the type of thing that comes to me in the small hours and I felt like sharing.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Waters That Pass Away Book 1, Chapter 2: Trump! Murdoch! Westmore!

The mysterious Mr. Westmore, Book 1, Chapter 2 tells us, came up through the world from Helen's hometown and had known her parents, which is why he'd taken an interest in the Galbraiths while they were in New York. While they hadn't built their distaste for Westmore on a “rightful foundation”, Helen still felt he couldn't be entirely trusted. But when the cards aren't breaking your way, what the hell are ya gonna do?

Thinking of these things, walking firmly and rapidly, all eagerness to reach the land of [her] desires, she presented a very charming picture of grace and beauty, the finest type of dignified young womanhood, yet as unwilling to surrender absolutely to an adverse fate as were the meadows across which she passed reluctant to acknowledge the sovereignty of winter. A close observer would have noted a rare degree of silent passion written upon the face of this young woman, indicating vast emotional powers as yet uncontrolled. These emotional powers had indeed never been fully comprehended by anyone, not even by Galbraith who so loved her. People who were struck by Helen's tall, slender presence and beautiful face were nearly always misled by the quiet dignity of her manner as to the vital forces of her nature. [...] (pp. 81-2, my questionable attempt at reading around the "thumbprint" in brackets)

Yes, yes, and on and on and on...but ho, here's a familiar face (to her, anyway) at the station! It's Andrew Tompson, one of Alex's New York art buddies, who's not only impertinent but doesn't have the decency to put an H in his last name. Because of this punk, I had to keep correcting my notes.

“You are in for an afternoon in the city, I suppose?”

“Yes,” she replied, “and a disagreeable afternoon, too, I fear; it is all business—a thing I have no great talent for, it seems.”

“One cannot expect to possess all the virtues,” remarked Tompson insinuatingly, looking closely into her face, which to him was quite the most beautiful face in all the world.

“Well, no, not exactly,” said Helen, assuming an air of lofty contempt, being always disdainful of such remarks when they came from Andrew Thompson.

“A woman, however,” she continued, “is rightfully supposed to have an average amount of common-sense to be used for all the practical needs of life; and often I feel that I fall short of even this demand, especially when an emergency arises.”

“You are certainly not exceptional in that respect,” said Tompson. “It seems equally true of all people, except of the abnormally wise, that they never do the right thing at the right time, or say the proper word in the proper place—just as our best witticisms occur to us when we have no audience.” (pp. 33-4)

Fearing that she gave too much away, she quickly changed the conversation to a neutral subject and just as quickly boarded the New York train. Andrew knew that Helen only put up with him because he was tight with her husband, but this new brush-off got stuck in his craw just as readily as the first time. “Somehow, he reflected, must he find a way to make her regard him more favorably.” And I'm sure soon must we find out if on that unspoken threat he goodly makes. Because really, what's a Lifetime Movie without at least one clueless/malevolent dude trying to make a woman “come around”?

Anyway, off to New York to meet Mr. Westmore. Occupation: capitalist. Since our author insists on parceling out the reveals of his nature, let's just go ahead and lump the important parts into one badly-pruned infodump.

His influence in Wall Street was suppose to be great. It was there, years ago, that his own fortune had been made, and unable to separate entirely his present habits from those of the past, he was ever and anon returning to the field of his former glory, if for no other reason than the gratification of personal pride in measuring himself against the younger men who figured there conspicuously at the time. [...]

But Westmore had other ambitions than those of the speculator. He wished to be recognized as a power in business enterprises of a strictly legitimate and respectable nature; to this end he used his accumulated fortune lavishly. The result had been even more satisfactory than he had anticipated. TO those behind the scenes he was known to be the ruling spirit of at least three banking houses of fine standing, besides owning the controlling interest in an important and influential newspaper. [...]

Any knowledge he had acquired of literature was more the result of travel and the reading induced by it, than of a native taste for books. He was not a man who could enjoy a book or a picture for the purely mental and spiritual pleasure to be got out of that book or picture. He learned things and acquired habits and tastes, because to know these thing, to possess these habits and tastes gave him a certain distinction among the men with whom his fine business capacities had placed him. Above all Mr. Westmore loved power; he liked to feel that men—and women too for that matter—were under his control, marching, as it were, to his orders. He was wont to be very indulgent towards people until he had them within his grasp, but once having closed his hand firmly upon them, his hold was not likely to relax, and he showed himself to be the most uncompromising and exacting of masters. It was this quality that had given him his position in the financial world. All interests committed to his care were protected by him without concessions to anyone; the embarrassments of others he never allowed to affect his own actions in the slightest degree; and any colleague who seemed likely to drag him down was immediately got rid of with all hope of his return summarily dispelled. (pp.35, 36, 39-40)

Before we move on:

  • I really enjoyed the author's insinuation that the stock market isn't a “strictly legitimate business”
  • If we added “Rosie O'Donnell is a pig” to that litany, could this guy look even more like an antique Donald Trump? Or alternately, we could slide in some “media bias” snark and make him into a 19th century Rupert Murdoch. Which analogy is more fitting? I'm sure we'll find out as we move along. Kind of sad he's not batshit crazy instead, or else we could throw in a Jim Cramer comparison, too...

Helen (“truly a virgin heart”...yes, let's just slop that stuff on with a trowel, why don't we) didn't have an inkling of any of this as she was ushered into Westmore's inner sanctum, just a vague uneasiness. Although he doesn't even look at up from his desk as they begin their conversation, Helen picks up an “unpleasantly suggestive tone” in his conversation (Trump!), and only when she calls him on it does he finally fix his gaze on her, being a man who isn't used to being questioned (um...Murdoch? I'm just going by what I read in the gossip rags...).

He had a nervous habit when irritated or perplexed of running his left forefinger beneath his heavy black mustache and of passing it back and forth there rapidly. He did this now vehemently for a few moments; then letting his hand fall upon his desk, his irritation passing away, he said:[...]

Time out. Passing his finger under his big black mustache...that sounds fairly close to a mustache twirl. Are we really going there? I know we're whipping up some melodrama here, but come on! If he ties her to the railroad tracks (Murdoch!), I'm going back to bed (damn straight, Trump!). But I digress...

“I really do not understand you. There is nothing you women seem to value so much as personal beauty, and yet when a man makes the merest reference to it, by way of compliment, you assume an air of offended dignity. It is incomprehensible—but then--” he added, a conciliatory and amused smile coming back to his face-- “but then the whole woman question, I acknowledge, is entirely beyond my powers of solution.”

Helen, having every reason for not wishing to provoke a quarrel with Mr. Westmore, was glad to avail herself of the more pleasant turn their conversation was taking.

“The very best women, you know, are contradictory, though it may not always be safe to say so,” said Helen. She was thoroughly mistress of herself now, and sitting down she went on talking.

“No doubt it is very fortunate for my sex that women are a law unto themselves; otherwise, I fear, many of their actions could never be explained.”

“You think the old excuse, it is merely a woman's way, the best excuse still, despite the wonderful claims of the new woman?” asked Mr. Westmore quizzically, surveying Helen with a smile.

O'REILLY! Cut her mike! Have a loofah! Whoops, I forgot my choices were Trump or Murdoch. Moving on...

“The new woman, I observe, is very willing to fall back upon the old standards, when it comes to a matter of feeling,” replied Helen.

“But you—Mrs. Galbraith—have I not heard you say something about the advancement of women?” asked Mr. Westmore, still quizzical and amused.

“Possibly you have,” she answered. “In theory, I believe that I have a right to all the privileges allotted to men—but then, in fact, you know--” Helen paused, and looking directely at mr. Westmore, smiled heartily, notwithstanding her personal objections to him, for the absurdity of the situation struck her—that they two should be seriously discussing the woman question! “Well, in fact,” she continued, “I find that I am but a woman after all, emotional, nervous at times, and dependent—no doubt very like my dear old grandmothers, without their simple goodness,” she quickly added..

“And you think you are a fair sample of women as a class?” asked Mr. Westmore.

“Yes, I am sure of it,” she replied; “women the world over are much the same by nature and up to the present time I do not believe that we have been seriously affected as a sex by evolution. In a few thousand years or more, provided we are very strict with ourselves, we may eliminate some of our weaknesses. Until then----”

“Until then,” interrupted Mr. Westmore, “you will remain, I trust, just as you are, the most delightful part of God's creation.” (pp. 41-3)

I doubt this lengthy exchange contributes to the overall story (except to prove that when Helen opens her mouth, more than wind and noise comes out ), but you'll have to admit that's a hell of a conversation to have in the middle of a job interview. And since we're all about reading the subtext today, how about that parting shot? Is Westmore saying that once women “evolve”, they'll stop being “delightful”, bwess their widdl' puddin' heads? Maybe he'll have moved on to dogs by that time...or give sheep the vote, as Robin Williams puts it.

Having gotten this piece of business out of the way, it goes to figure that when a 60-year-old man with a “plain, bad-mannered wife and unpolished children” is confronted with an attractive twentysomething, even a married one, his mind is going to drift to bad ideas: “Had the distribution of blessings in this life been left to him, he felt sure that he would have asked nothing better than that she should have been bestowed upon him.” We haven't heard the last of this line of talk, I'm sure.

Anyway, it's time to get down to business. Helen unspools her whole sad story and her conviction that writing--any kind of writing...she'll even do the Jumble clues, dammit!--is the only thing she can do to keep home and hearth together, and as long as she can remain with her Alex during the day, she's willing to do it. Westmore is so moved by her plight that “at that moment he had no desire to master and control the pure-hearted, sweet woman who sat in sorrow before him.” Unfortunately, like gas, that type of moment in him usually passes. But for the time being, it moved him to spring to his feet and grasp her hand, speaking to her in tones of what for him expressed tender sympathy. She doesn't care much for that, either; she just wants some work, not a Dr. Phil moment.

“I will take this to our editor and see what he thinks. But--” he laid down the manuscript and stood looking directly at Helen-- “no mater what his opinion may be, something shall be done. You can depend on that, Mrs. Galbraith.”

“I thank you.” She spoke simply, rising in her most dignified manner, preparing to go. She moved towards him, extending her hand.

“I am going down with you,” he said, buttoning his coat, and crossing the room to get his hat. After his kindness she had no right to refuse him this, yet she wished that he would let her go alone.

[...]The room was in almost total darkness; Mr. Westmore and Helen stood side by side before the door, ready to go down together. Suddenly Helen felt a hand grasp her own. For a moment her fingers seemed crushed and bruised beneath the convulsive hold that had been laid upon them. With the free hand she seized the knob of the door and opened it, and rushed into a vestibule which formed the entrance to Mr. Westmore's private room. He followed her; then passing in front of her, said simply: “This way, please,” and she, rendered powerless by her indignation, unable to protest in any way, followed him without a word. In a moment or two they stood together in the open street, but even then they did not speak. Helen hastened into the first surface car that passed. Even to the platform of the car he was by her side, assisting her to enter. When she had stumbled over an old woman's basket, and fallen into the nearest vacant seat, she turned to see what had become of him, but he had disappeared and the car was speeding on its way.

“Why had he spoiled it all?” As she asked herself this question she felt that there was not scorn enough in the world to express her thoughts of him, yes, and of herself. (pp. 46-8)

And if we already have a guy who just wants his best friend's wife to "come around", why not an overprivileged interloper who wants to bend a sweet young thing to his will? (Trump!) Or am I reading too much into the overabundant, on-the-nose warning flags bluntly planted on every other page? (Murdoch!) If I'm wrong it won't be the first time (Murdoch!), but at the moment I'm certain the prevailing circumstances will vindicate me. (Trump! And very rarely Murdoch! And I'm done with this game...)

Next: Meanwhile, back at the homestead...

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Waters That Pass Away Book 1, Chapter 1: All Pity

The epigraph is a particularly cheerful Bible verse: “There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.” (Proverbs 14:12) My own epigraph follows: “I am utterly doomed.”

At the open of Book 1, Chapter 1 (yes, books and chapters...it's one of those stories), we're presented with something of a New Jersey pastoral.

The northeastern and central portions of the State of New Jersey consist of a vast plain. Following the route of the Pennsylvania Railroad from Jersey City to Newark, the Palisades are left behind, and one comes upon a scene of little variety. Between these two towns the entire surface of the country is seemingly one broad sweep of meadows, stretching away in a serene, unbroken expanse beyond the range of the human eye, and finally losing themselves in the picturesque Jersey shore at the mouth of the Hudson river. Outside of their commercial and industrial activities Jersey City and Newark possess little interest, and the nine miles of monotonous meadow-land lying between the two places offer nothing to the observer unless he has a fondness for fresh, green nature, without other adornment or diversity. (p. 7)

Little variety, monotonous, without adornment...yep, that's Jersey alright. With this enticing scene-setting, we're ushered to an inconspicuous cottage on a plateau, one with an immaculate garden (“a thing of genuine beauty in the landscape”). This has been the home for the past three years of Alexander Galbraith, an invalid artist who never goes outside but likes looking longingly out the window, and his wife Helen, “reported by her neighbors to be a young woman of exclusive and haughty manner, yet really admired, and possibly envied by them for the quiet dignity of her life and the exceptional beauty of her person.” Helen got into town very rarely, and they happily received friends from New York, but apart from that, their social life doesn't exist. Theirs is a life of quiet and solitary despair, as we will soon find out in soul-crushing detail. Yes, it most definitely is going to be one of those books.

And with that, let us go back twenty-five years...wait, a flashback already? But we just got here!

Some twenty-five years before the time of which we write, a small boy lay one summer afternoon in the long, lush grass, which grew exuberantly in an old garden, and lying there he became conscious for the first time of the sweetness and richness of nature. An overpowering sense of the vast suggestiveness of the world about him had seemed to awaken his soul; it was as if a revelation of things wonderful and mysterious had been made to him; the very odors arising from the warm, pulsing earth upon which he lay filled him with delicious sensations, new and startling to one of his years. While the boy thus for the first time felt the charm of nature enter into his being, his sense of beauty was still further aroused by a brilliant and glorious sunset, which made the sky and all the vision before him a scene of transcendent radiance. A magic touch, in an instant, had transformed the familiar and the commonplace, and wrought it into such a dream as only the heart of youth can experience. That afternoon the sense of beauty was born in the boy; the natural world became a thing real and comprehensive to him, and with a sudden childish impulse he sprang to his feet, expanding his chest with a strong, deep inhalation, his eyes looking all the while fiercely about, straining their every nerve to the utmost in order to see more and more of what was lovely and surprising in this great, new world just revealed to him. Once born, the sense of beauty grew in the child. The love for color became a passion with him, the desire for harmony dominated his being, and so, without direction, by purely natural selection in its truest sense, he developed from a sensitive, imaginative boy into a man of strong, healthy artistic temperament. (pp. 9-10)

That paragraph runs another page and a half, by the way. I didn't think you'd want it all. There are quite a few of them in this chapter, too.

Galbraith's love of nature and color led him on a single-minded road to become a landscape artist, and he devoted his skill and willpower to mastering his chosen field, which of course he did. “Not one of his comrades of that time would have said that he was over-confident, or wrongfully sure of success.” On the continent, he achieved critical acclaim and a showing in the Paris Salon, and everybody—oh, just everybody!—said he had the promise of great things.

It was in that first blush of being totally frickin' awesome and everybody knowing it that Galbraith met his future missus.

The circumstances and conditions of these two young people were, in many respects, similar. Both were Americans—both were parentless, and free from any close family connections—and both had means sufficient for their special interests in Paris, where they had met and become deeply and passionately attached the one to the other. Their marriage was really one of the most natural and proper things, and seemed to all their friends to have been divinely arranged. Galbraith was a magnificent type of finely developed manhood, his personal charm was great, and his earnest aspiration for beauty and purity had developed in him certain perceptions and sympathies seldom to be found in men, except when long experience of life has taught them to draw their distinctions both wisely and compassionately. Exhibiting such qualities as these, Galbraith's nature was yet distinctly passionate; it could be said, he was thoroughly and vigorously a man; but his passion was of that kind which transports the mind to spiritual altitudes—his earnest, manly soul had mounted upward in its quest after the ideal. (pp. 11-12)

Well damn, after that thunderous build-up for Marvelous Mr. Galbraith, who bestrides the narrow world like a colossus, the description of Helen that follows (“her form and face were not the only beautiful inestimable gifts that had been bestowed upon her”) is downright anticlimactic. But hark, this is his symphony we're playing, let's back off for a moment.

The next step for the newlyweds was a return to America and New York, where Galbraith set up a studio with the design to make American art awesome singlehandedly. Ah, youth.

And then came (ominous music) the tragedy. I was prepared for some nondescript Movie-Of-The-Week disease to strike him, one whose weakly-defined symptoms make you look more noble and brave as you waste away. Therefore, I read on with an almost perverse sense of relief when instead, author Winston lowered the boom with a faint twinkle of literary irony.

It is not surprising, then, that Alex Galbraith had never taken calamity into account, and that his prognostics of life had included no great misfortunes. In the light of such facts, if, after the blow came, he had remained ever a helpless, hopeless, dying man, who can find it in his heart to blame him? Certainly, a misfortune like his was exceptional and irreparable. Galbraith felt that no such fate as his had ever been meted out to man. What was a blind Milton, a deaf Beethoven to him, a painter without hands! The victim of a terrible railroad accident, Galbraith, in making an effort to escape, had fallen between two cars just as a sudden lurch brought them violently together. As if by miracle his body escaped being crushed, but his arms were so broken and torn, that, without any kind of consultation and while he remained unconscious from pain, they were both amputated just below the shoulder-joint. In this way Galbraith had lost those strong, well-shaped hands of his, hands that had been so carefully, skillfully trained to do an artist's finest, most dexterous work. (pp.13-14)

There's a slightly exasperated footnote smelling of a complaint letter to the publisher (possible, since our text is a third edition) that says yes, the author is aware that people have learned how to paint with their feet or mouths, but not when they were trained to use their hands first. Get off my case, people. Do you want to hear this story or don't you?

The studio had to go, of course, and while his wife and friends tried to ease him into a career in lecturing or writing art criticism, Alex was unequipped to deal with translating his talents into anything but paint and canvas. So instead, he sat around his Jersey cottage, broken in spirit and eventually broken in health, and making halfhearted stabs at the writing thing with his wife's assistance. (Boy, that last part sounds familiar. Except the thing about having a wife. HAHAHAHAsob...)

Helen, meanwhile, suffered in silence, having given her entire body and soul over to taking care of her man. “Compassion, infinite compassion, it might be said, had always been one of the strongest qualities of her nature, and the distress of her present life had so increased and developed the quality in her heart, that at times now she felt herself to be all pity.” This has been the state of affairs for three years when we're brought back to the present.

When we rejoin our couple of misery, they've spent the morning making their most concerted push yet at translating Alex's thoughts into something resembling a sellable article. Unfortunately, Alex's opinions butted harshly against popular tastes and the inability to temper earnestness of his views with anything resembling a dash of humor. That wouldn't be as insurmountable of a problem now, since there's a mini-industry dedicated to turning out contrarian jerks in all fields, but in the world of our current book, it was a big issue. His big issue was with the recent “extreme” varieties of impressionism which rendered the forms of nature into undetailed, unrefined blobs of color, which makes me think the 20th century's gonna be a blast for him.

Helen had been toying with the idea of doing a bit of original writing herself, since she has the qualities that Alex lacks in the written word. She has to do something, since his inheritance went into his education, and hers, which was running the household, was getting woefully thin.

But before we get to that “something” she has to do, what do you say we twist the knife just a little bit more? Oh yes, let's just wallow in it.

Galbraith threw his head back against his cushioned chair in which he sat, half reclining. He looked out upon the calm, peaceful scene surrounding the cottage—then he looked down upon his wife.

“Read me some of those sonnets, sweetheart, if you like,” he said, adding: “Poor Heine! what a fine fellow he was, with all his cynicism!”

Helen opened the book, which she held now in her hand, and read in a clear, sweet-toned voice some of the sonnets which Galbraith liked so much. That death-in-life existence which Heine so long endured had come to have a certain fascination for Galbraith, and he liked at times to surrender himself to Heine's poetic contemplation of suffering. His own artistic nature found satisfaction in this; and the crown of thorns which he was called upon to wear seemed to press less heavily upon his brow, when he thought of how in poor Heine's case a similar crown of sorrow had been transformed into a lyric one of greatness and splendor.

When Helen had read several of Galbraith's favorite sonnets, she laid aside, at his request, the book from which she had read, and opening the one which lay in her lap, she read from it the pathetic account of that last visit which Heine had paid to the outside world. To do this was a sad duty for Helen, but Galbraith especially requested it, and so she read:

“It was in May that Heine took his last promenade in the Boulevards. Masses of the populace rolled along the streets of Paris, driven about by their tribunes as by storms. The poet, half blind, half lame, dragged himself on his stick and endeavored to extricate himself from the deafening uproar, and finally escaped into the Louvre close by... Ere long he found himself in the room on the ground floor in which the ancient gods and goddesses stand.

“Suddenly he stood before the ideal of Beauty, the smiling, entrancing goddess, the miracle of an unknown master, the Venus of Milo, who in the course of centuries has lost her arms but not her witchery. Overcome, agitated, stricken through, almost terrified at her aspect, the sick man staggered back till he sank on a seat, and tears, hot and bitter, streamed down his cheeks.”

As Helen read, Galbraith's gaze had strayed from her own beautiful face, and rested upon the broad, silent meadows opposite his window. Nothing in all literature had ever so touched him as did this incident, which Helen had just read to him; nothing had ever been so personal and suggestive to him. For a time he could not speak. His gaze continued to rest upon the meadows below, but tears blinded him. His heart was full. Poor Helen. She had ended her reading with a sob, the strain of the morning would have its revenge! Letting her head fall upon her husband's knee, she no longer tried to restrain her feelings. Outbursts of any kind were very rare with her, and Galbraith turned eagerly toward her as he felt her trembling body quiver against his own. (pp. 21-3)

This moment is Helen's tipping point, since it vividly highlights how utterly screwed the two of them are. She had been ruminating over what she considered a distasteful plan of attack, but one which was all too necessary. The time had come to act before she got cold feet again.

Turning toward Alex, she saw that he was observing her.

“I think I will go out, dear,” she said. “Can you manage a few hours without me?”

“Why yes, little girl,” replied Galbraith, “but are you not very late in starting?”

“Well, yes, I am,” said Helen, drawing near to the window, and looking out to see where the sun was in the heavens. “I want some exercise, though, and then ,--” she hesitated before she added, “I have in this last half hour just taken a resolve. I am going to see Mr. Westmore about that newspaper work of which I have sometimes spoken.”

She twirled her wedding ring nervously about her finger as she spoke, then walking rapidly over to the fire she threw a fresh log on it, before Galbraith could reply. He looked at her very earnestly as she did this; he waited for her to brush her hands free of the trash which the wood had left upon them, before he spoke; and when he did so, his tone was very quiet, but there was a decided protest in it:

“I wish you would not go—you know, I do not like Westmore.”

“Nor do I, dear,” she replied. She came over and stood by him, with her hand resting upon his shoulder. Then she continued:

“But you must admit, Alex, the necessity for some kind of practical step. We cannot go on repeating this morning. I have been thinking it all over, and this is the only possible thing—it seems to me. This afternoon it has come to me as the immediate course to take. I have thought of it before, as you know, but this is the first time I have felt myself capable of doing it, and I am sure, that it is better for me to go while I am in this frame of mind.”

“Could we not write?” asked Galbraith, hoping that he might find some other way for her.

“Yes, we might,” she replied. “But it would mean delay, and finally I should have to go to him, or he would have to come to us, and so it is far better, I am sure to have it all over now while I feel myself capable of going through with it.”

“Well, I suppose you are right,” replied Galbraith. He was annoyed, but he knew that it was unjust in him to be so, for helpless as he was to better their fortunes, he felt that he had no right to stand in Helen's way of doing what she thought was wise, and simply, too, because of an indescribable prejudice which he entertained against the one man who might possibly help her to a satisfactory career. Helen knew just how he felt about it, and nothing but the great necessity of the case could have made it possible for her to act in opposition to his views.

“You must remember, dear,” she said sweetly, hoping that by being just she might make it easier for Galbraith and herself also, “that we know nothing against Mr. Westmore; we only do not like him.”

“Yes, that is true,” said Alex, “and he has undoubtedly always seemed to wish to be kind and helpful. But he is an offensive man,--he suggests unsavory things, no matter what his successes.”

“In that case, we will hope,” said Helen with a laugh, as she stooped to kiss her husband, “that he is not as black as he is painted.” (pp. 27-9)

And with that, she departs and in spite of the brave face they both put on, Galbraith feels alone and helpless. “It was the first time, since he had known her, that she had turned from him to someone else for help and advice.” As the orchestra swells, the camera crane draws into the heavens looking down on our dejected husband as we head for the chapter break. Ladies and gentlemen, I am trapped in a Lifetime Movie.

Next: Mr. Westmore. Does anybody want Meredith Baxter's autograph?

Round 3: Waters That Pass Away

The man known as "EvilWaldo" (but whom I call Dave, because that's his name and I'm a jerk like that) decided I've had it too good so far, so he skimmed the list and landed on the first book we've drawn for which I'm not finding a lot of supporting material. In fact, until a few weeks ago, the only online copy was missing several pages, which didn't bode well. Well, my source was fixed just in time for what may be my first penalty round. Dig this, if you will (filed in the original list under "The Summer's Miscellany", a catchall category for "we don't know what to call it, either"):
Waters That Pass Away. By N. B. Winston. New York: G. W. Dillingham Company. $1.25.

This book is of rare interest to people attracted by the study of the formative influences of the human heart. Mr. Winston, whose discernment is rational and whose treatment is as artistic as it is consistent, has written from the depths of the highest possible realization of the true greatness of the human heart. "Waters That Pass Away" will touch most anybody who is at all sympathetic with heart influences. At the same time the author intends his work to stand for the truest moral nobility and for the conscious mastery by humanity of the problems that have so long essayed to unite head and heart into concerted harmony of action.
--New York Times, June 24, 1899.
Mister Winston. Remember that as I run through this pull-quote from the publisher's ad.
"The author of Waters That Pass Away, is a Southerner, whose sex is not to be determined from the name standing upon the title page or from the story itself. There are some things which indicate that the writer is a man and, on the other hand, there are touches that seem to be distinctively feminine..... Each reader will have the pleasure of attempting to solve this mystery for himself; and whether he succeeds or not will have the pleasure to be derived from a well-told story."
--Philadelphia Inquirer.
See? It's a sales angle! You don't know if it's a man or a woman! The suspense is killing me! No, not "killing me"...what's that other thing? Oh yes, "making me scowl in disgust at how ridiculous using this as a promotional angle is".

Let me put you out of your misery. The N is for Nannie. Miss Nannie B. Winston, possibly the same N. B. Winston who was Vice-Regent of the Old Dominon chapter of the DAR...that much I found out (I think...corrections are more than welcome). I love how the Times assumed a Mister out of N. B. Winston, as if gurlz weren't allowed to have initials. You give those chicks a monogram, next thing they'll ask to vote, and wear trousers, and--God forbid--pee standing up! It's like cats wanting to be dogs, I tell ya!

Now that we've gotten that bit of low comedy out of the way, let's see what other reviews the publisher dredged up.
"Waters That Pass Away is one of the rare books that emphasizes notably the true greatness of the human heart. It is written from the depths of the highest possible realization and expressed with an eloquence that touches one irresistibly. It stands for the truest moral nobility, for the conscious mastery by humanity of the problems that have so long essayed to unite head and heart into concerted harmony of action. It is written by N. B. Winston, to whose quality of discernment and rational application it does rare honor for its artistic consistency."
--Boston Ideas


"There is a deep lesson of life to be learned from a book like this, and in it one may study character, and the infallible trend of social consequences, sorrow ever following sin, and sin in its turn yielding to joy when true repentance follows after." --Philadelphia Item

"The author has achieved an interesting problem novel in Waters That Pass Away."
--The Mirror, St. Louis.
In other words, get ready for some world-class suffering. Gee, THANKS Dave.

And now, our sources...um, source.
  • Google Books has posted the only web copy (originally from the NY Public Library), which wasn't all there until a recent rescan. Because it looks like this book was scanned "non-destructively"--that is, this rare library copy wasn't chopped up and fed through a high-speed automatic scanner--you can occasionally see the fingers of the person running the machine on the edges of some pages and, even more disconcerting, fingers which were filtered out...along with small bits of the text. (To see the human touch in action, flip to the two images following p. 281...that's a picture of the page actually being turned.) Still, all the pages are there, which means I've got something I can work with, and the blanked-out bits (all in the early chapters) are usually small enough to be read around.
Since this time I'm going to have to type in my quote blocks instead of stealing them from a plain text alternate (oh, the tragedy!), any questionable transcriptions I'm compelled to make will be bracketed.

Hang in there, gang! The new adventure begins soon!

Links to the spoiler-laden chapter recaps (links go live as they're posted):
Book I: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. (with a Halftime Report)
Book II: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
And the Post Game Wrap-Up.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Post-Game Report: The Hooligan Nights

For late-risers, here are the links to the Chapter Recaps (chock full of spoilers): 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22.

If you're interested in a treatment of the Hooligan problem that takes a more directly critical and advisory tone, Clarence Rook wrote an article on the topic for The Anglo-Saxon Review in 1900, somewhat sarcastically titled "St. Patrick Hooligan". This one even draws a comparison between the Hooligan and Lord Byron. No, really.

His conclusion in this later article is the fruit of the seeds scattered throughout The Hooligan Nights.
No human instinct is bad; and the only sensible way of developing character is to accept the instinct and make the best of it. Lawlessness in itself is not praiseworthy; but I maintain that the character which naturally breaks out into lawlessness contains splendid possibilities. So long as we leave several hundreds of thousands of boys to roam the streets with no legitimate outlet for their abundant energy, so long shall we be startled by the howl and occasionally stunned by the belt of the Hooligan. Here and there efforts are being made in the right direction. Here and there an obscure clergyman has recognised that if boys are set to box with the gloves in a parish-room they will be too tired to fight with the fists in the street. The organisers of the cadet battalions, such as the Queen's, which has its headquarters in Southwark, have found that 'playing at soldiers' is an extremely popular amusement with boys. Such efforts, however, touch but one in ten thousand ; and London swarms with boys who, filled with the laudable ambition of being pirates, have to struggle blindly, without guidance, after their ideal. Let us not think too unkindly of a lad when he goes howling through the streets to the fray. Let us remember that the Oxford undergraduate was a Hooligan, delighting in town-and-gown rows, until some one had the happy thought of turning his misdirected energy towards athletics.
--Anglo-Saxon Review, December 1900
This is touched on fairly early in the book itself, the theme of "There is no such thing as a bad boy, just bad guidance from adults who should know better." In spite of himself, Rook does occasionally find admirable qualities in the young man who is his subject which, if they had been channeled in positive directions at an early age, would've made him an upstanding (if not as well-paid) citizen. The hopeful, if (in my opinion) woefully over-optimistic, closing lines seem to reflect a belief in the perfectibility of humankind fairly common to the time, that if you could somehow crack the code of the soul, everybody could live a beautiful life.

Of course, there's a less-than-pleasant second flank to this argument, one which isn't necessarily said out loud in the book but which bubbles up when we take a gander at Alf's less-than-ideal mostly unsupervised upbringing: If those bloody lower-class parents knew how to raise their brats, I wouldn't have to lock my windows at night. And it poses the most valid question to the human perfectibility drive: Whose idea of "perfect" are we talking about, anyway? Because while this frame of mind led to a number of worthy charitable organizations striving for the betterment of awful situations, it also led to more sinister things like the imperialist concept of the "white man's burden". In that spirit, it probably says more than he intended about Rook's sense of social bias when he silently refuses to believe Alf's contention that some people steal because they have to steal to keep from going hungry, not just out of stubborn-minded up-yours rebellion.

Anyway, dragging our focus away from the subtext and back to the book itself: the early chapters' straight biographical narrative fades in and out like a bad TV signal, but the anecdotes and observations that make up the bulk of the book have the desired effect (suggested by the dominant framing device) of sitting down in the back room of a pub with a petty criminal while he gives you a loose account of his "brilliant career".

Would this have had the result of warning and deterrent? That's a question I'm not fully equipped to answer, since the reaction you have to the events of the book hinge on what mindset you have coming in. When Alf is telling his own story, you're given just the story, not cues on how to react...apart from Rook's occasional interjections. But it does fall into a longstanding gambit of condemning behavior while presenting it meticulously--almost lovingly--for the entertainment of people who want to feel superior but also want to wallow in second-hand sin. On that level, The Hooligan Nights is a success and points the way to, among other things, the Fox Network Saturday night lineup. Maybe not Mad TV, though.

In spite of the promises of the introduction, Rook didn't manage to completely hold off on the moralizing, unless by "story without a moral", he meant that Alf didn't reform and stayed true to his established nature all the way through. Maybe it was asking too much for him to completely resist the urge to interject his consternation, but I still maintain that Chapter 20's digression into civic pride was a genuinely sour note. Instead of the authorial hand gently pushing up from underneath to make certain things stand out, we got an authorial fist suddenly punching through the floor. He was doing so well up to that point, too. But again, there weren't that many wobbly spots of that variety, so it was just a hiccup on the race to the finish.

MVP Of The Book: It's Alf by default, since out of necessity he's front and center on almost every page. Take him away and it's just Rook sightseeing around some seedy neighborhoods.

Nagging Question: I've come to terms with the idea that Alf is at least partially based on a real young man, albeit one that's probably been embellished out the yin-yang for the page, but info on the author himself eludes me. I know Clarence Rook was a journalist/mystery writer/travel writer who originally wrote his Hooligan material for The Daily Chronicle. I have a birth and death year (1862-1915), and--here's a surprise--Bill Schwarz tells us that he was an American. Apart from that, all we have is what Rook left us on the page, and no, I haven't read him past this one book. Forget about Wikipedia, there isn't a trace of him in the Encyclopedia Britannica. Not even the 1911 edition, when he would've still been alive. There's no way he could've shuffled off the mortal coil without leaving a trace. A little help here? Part of my failing is using the Interweb as my primary research tool, I'm sure...

Would you recommend it to a friend? Sure. If they're interested in sneak thieves of days gone by, this should be on their list. The eternal question, though, is "Would I let an impressionable kid looking for imitatable acts read it?" Probably not. I've been exposed to too many sitcoms where the dad obliviously reels off his childhood misdeeds with a chuckle and a twinkle in his eye, while his kids pay rapt attention and silently take mental notes. And those were about building rafts and jumping things on your BMX bike, not bashing old ladies over the head to steal the money from their candy shops and fighting dirty. Having said that, there's nothing in Hooligan Nights that tops the Grand Theft Auto/Sopranos family of entertainment in terms of violence and nastiness, so use your own discretion.

Is this (still) a summer book? Emphatically yes. Don't let the fits and starts of my updates fool you; that was more out of frustration with my own working methods than anything the book was (or wasn't) giving me. It would've been a brisk read if I wasn't so insistent on anal-retentive note-taking and strike-while-the-memory's-hot recapping. For potential readers, keep in mind that any sex is implied (and even then it's strictly between-the-lines weasel phraseology) but the violence is right up front, so you'll get at least one of your basic food groups.

Next: Time to choose #3, folks. Take a close look at the list and see what you'd like to inflict on me this time.

The Hooligan Nights Chapters 21 and 22: Happily Ever After?

Well gang, we're finally approaching the end of The Hooligan Nights, and although a conventional plot has been beside the point as often as not, our author obviously feels he has to bring Alf's story to a suitable end...or at least a proper stopping point. To that effect, we've been teased on and off about Alice, and Alf's gradual realization that she's more than just "one of his girls", but the girl. It's been a pretty leisurely subplot, which is why it's such a jolt that the start of Chapter 21 ("The Course of True Love") starts the way it does...even if it's a perfectly logical development.
It was advisable that Alice should be married to young Alf forthwith. But there were difficulties in the way. Alice's father did not approve of the match even in the special circumstances, and threatened bashing. And Alice's father, if I may credit Young Alf's rapid sketch, is not a man to be trifled with. He is a book-maker of unbridled temper, and is accustomed to be master in his own house. Towards nightfall, when Alice's mother can still argue but can no longer stand, his remedy is ingenious and effective. He slings a rope - so young Alf tells me - round her chib, and fastens it to a hook in the wall. Then Alice's mother can stand, but can no longer argue. A man, I gather, of strong character, but not lovable. A husband and lather to inspire fear rather than affection.

The opposition of the book-maker was a serious difficulty, but, with the combined forces of Alice and her mother, not an insuperable one. Alice was very anxious for the wedding: Alice's mother, so long as she could stand, was insistent. Young Alf didn't care either way.

So the banns were put up without the knowledge of the book-maker with the unbridled temper, and young Alf was devising a scheme for sneaking the book-maker's pony and cart in order that the ceremony might be carried out with a bit of class. (pp. 256-7)
Rook does a nice job here of circling the fact that, if you'll pardon me for being so ungenteel, Alice is knocked up good and proper, but it says a lot about the era that he can be a bit more on the nose about her dad being a big booster of Angry Dad Violence, and that both mom and dad habitually drink until they can't stand. 'Twas ever thus: violence has always been more acceptable than sex. Of course, Alice has one up on Alf by having two parents, even if they're pretty much useless after last call.

Although Alf is singularly ambivalent about the prospect of marriage, he's willing to resort to extraordinary measures to make sure Alice has something resembling a decent home: if he can't furnish their love nest by his "usual" means, he's willing to pay cash. That would be my cue to sarcastically say "What a solid foundation to build a life together," but then he has to go and tell this story:
'Knows 'ow to 'old 'er tongue,' he continued, presently. 'I never told you 'ow she 'eld 'er tongue, did I?'

I said I had not heard the incident.

'Look 'ere, I'll tell yer,' he said. 'You know Ginger, - 'im what I fought the uvver night?'

'That was about Alice, wasn't it?'

'Nor it wasn't the first time there's bin a bit of a row over Ginger. I don't fink Alice liked Ginger; least, not like she liked me. But 'e was always messin' about after 'er. See? Well, one mornin' I got infamation that Alice'd gone to the Canterbury wiv Ginger the night before. I dessay there wasn't no 'arm in it, an' I ain't so sure in me own mind that she went wiv 'im at all. On'y that was 'nough for me. An', meetin' 'er next evenin' down China Walk, I arsts 'er what the 'ell she meant by walkin' wiv Ginger stead o' me. See? An' then I jest gives 'er two for 'erself; one in each eye. See? Well, Alice, she run off 'ome, an' got into bed quick as she could, an' made out as if she was asleep. 'Cause I'd marked 'er, you unnerstand. Presently, in comes 'er muvver, bein' a bit barmy, an' finds Alice layin' in bed makin' out as if she was asleep. So 'er muvver says - "Git up, you lazy 'ussy," she says, "layin' there like as if you was a lidy," she says.

'Alice says she wouldn't, an' put 'er face unnerneaf the cloves. An' wiv that, 'er muvver took an' fetched 'er a clip over the 'ead. See?

'Well, next mornin', Alice's eyes was stannin' out proper wiv the smack I'd give 'er. An' soon as 'er muvver see 'er, she fort of 'ow she'd landed Alice the night fore, an' nuffink'd do for 'er but she must mess Alice about, an' kiss 'er, an' 'ug 'er, an' say:

' "Oh, my darlin', to fink I should a' marked yer like that!"

' 'Course she was sober then, an' when she's sober Alice's muvver's as kind-hearted as you please.'

'And all the time it was you who had - marked her?' I said.

Young Alf stopped short.

' 'Course it was,' he said. 'That's what I mean; an' - look 'ere.'

We had halted under a lamp-post, and Young Alf's eyes were gleaming in this light.

'Alice never said nuffink about it. What you fink o' that?'

I groped in vain for the appropriate answer, while Young Alf's eyes were fixed on my face.

'I fort a lot o' that,' he said, magnanimously, and turned to resume the walk. (pp. 258-60)
All the makings of a happy ending right there. If she crosses his Ts, he'll dot her eyes. Sigh.

As they walk along, Alf confides his plans for the future. He had come across a pony and wagon--he tells us later that it's just a matter of liberating it from his future father-in-law--and will make his trade as selling "green-stuff". "See, there's lots o' boys makes a good livin' gettin' on to the tail o' market wagons, an rollin' off wiv somefink they can sell wivout a loss. Peas a tanner a peck! See?" So much for reformation through true love. Alice is a good girl, remember. After all, she doesn't ask questions.

Rook is ushered into the newlyweds' apartment (this time Alice has a voice of "liquid gold"), and get a look-around at the sparse belongings: three chairs and a table, a bedstead, a strip of carpet, and some crockery. Then our attention is directed to the souveniers on the mantel.
Young Alf picked up the guttering light from the table, and held it aloft so that I might see and admire the pictures.

Nailed to the middle of the wall over the mantelpiece was a framed engraving of a pigeon, which young Alf had certainly not acquired by honest purchase. But there was a sentimental interest about it. For he had started the serious business of life, as you may remember, by sneaking pigeons. Beneath this, the photograph of a horse.

'That's a 'awse I got at Brighton,' said young Alf, holding the candle with one hand and with the other turning the light on to the picture. Sold it up 'ere in Lambef. It's workin' 'ere now.'

A photograph of young Alf and Alice, arm-in-arm, in very low tone, taken in Epping Forest. Another photograph of the book-maker with the unbridled temper. No. Certainly not a lovable man. A man to keep at a respectful distance. This piece of decoration was clearly Alice's idea, and young Alf swept the candle past it. To right and left of the book-maker a pair of coloured prints representing Christ Blessing the Loaves and Fishes, and Christ on the Sea of Galilee.

Alice retumed and the illumination was increased by a candle.

'Alf bought them,' said Alice, indicating the representations of Our Lord; ' 'cause I liked 'em.'

'Give a penny each for 'em,' said young Alf, in apology for being reduced to purchase.

Alice had resumed her seat by the table, and sat with her shawl drawn closely round her. In the clearer light of the extra candle, I had my first view of her face.

Fair hair, dressed low over the forehead and the ears, after the fashion in vogue among the girls engaged in the manufacture of aerated waters; soft grey eyes - long recovered from the imprint of Young Alf's fist; a mouth somewhat too large for absolute beauty, but well shaped; a figure which in a few months will be slim again. Altogether the sort of girl you may find by the hundred whereever there are streets and tramcars and factories. But her voice marked her off. (pp. 263-5)
And yes, Rook strung us along all this time without giving us a proper description of Alice until this point.

The wedding has been set for Boxing Day, when the threat of Angry Dad Violence is nullified by the book-maker being at some sort of race-meeting (and gives them a chance to swipe the horse and cart...guess he's taking the train), but Alf closes on a slightly ominous note by saying "Once before I've bin as far as the church door wiv a gal--and come away."

Therefore, we open Chapter 22 ("Holy Matrimony") not entirely sure that it'll come off when we join Rook on the South London-bound omnibus on Boxing Day.
'Blows like rain,' I remarked.

The conductor was swinging himself down again, but he halted on his way, and put a red face over the rail - a face designed for cheerfulness, but depressed by circumstances.

'Seems to me,' he said, 'the majority of people I've sin this mornin' wouldn't be much worse for a dash of cold water.'

'I'm just going to see a friend married,' I said; 'I hope the rain will hold off. Happy is the bride, you know-'

'Ah, your friend isn't the only one. Takes a bit of doin' to keep off being merried Boxing day. Talking of merriage-' The conductor leaned one arm on the rail, and kept one eye on the pavement for possible passengers. He did not squint; yet he gave me the impression of looking in two directions at once. 'Talking of merriage,' he said, I heard rather a rich bit the other night. There was a bit of a knock-up down there at the Coach an' 'Awses', and a chap there was doing his turn, talkin' and arstin' riddles; you know what I mean. Singing, you know, only puttin' a bit in on his own 'tween the verses. Follow me? "What's matterimony after all?" he says. "Matter o' money." See what he meant? I expect it is with these upper circles, eh? But I ain't got no cause to complain. Lived in 'armony five years come Easter Monday, and that's more'n most chaps can say. Well, 'ealth and 'appiness to your friend, - on'y, it's a bit too early, eh?'

He descended, looking a little more cheerful - cheerful enough to lean over and chaff the driver of a rival bus, which, being so far empty, was trying to pass him, and gather up any passenger that might be waiting at South Kensington Station. (pp. 268-9)
Finally, we reach the appointed church, but we have no bride or groom.
Couples walk up, flanked by humorous relatives; parties drive up, five in a hansom, brimming over the apron, a white ribbon tied in a tasty bow about the driver's whip. One couple come on bicycles, lean their machines against the wall by the porch, and enter, together with a gentlemanly-looking man who awaits them.

I watch them, and wonder if perchance young Alf is before his time and is already in the church. Into the dim church I peep, and there I see the surpliced clergyman tying human lives into knots, by the dozen at a time.

But young Alf and Alice were not among them.

The wind strengthens, and the churchyard trees are bending to it and dropping their tribute of twigs. From the church the couples emerge, their relatives more humorous than ever, and their cabmen, flourishing their whips tied tasty with a white bow, say things that make you giggle and shake with laughter and say 'Now, then, cheese it.'

The hour hand of the clock is creeping towards ten, closing time. For even a South London clergyman has his limits.

The hour strikes. The last couple has walked away under the blessing of the Church; and the church is empty, but for a fussing verger.

And still no young Alf. (pp. 271-2)
Rook's racing mind is silenced by the clatter of hooves as the "liberated" pony-cart rolls up bearing the wedding party. The book-maker had one cup of Christmas cheer too many the night before, which made it that much harder to get him out of the way on the day. On the way in, Alf shows Rook the ring--"thick, shiny, conclusive"--and really, you'd think the reporter would know by now not to ask how much it cost. Old habits die hard, I suppose. In the absence of her angry, violent dad, Rook agrees to give Alice away.
The verger came shuffling down to where the wedding-party waited. They rose and went forward.

'Come on,' I said.

Young Alf took a parting shot at a sparrow and we advanced together from the porch into the shadows of the aisle, up to the altar rails, where Alice stood expectant. The wind howled a bridal march.

The clergyman came wearily forward, hitching his surplice over his shoulders as he came, and we lined up; Alice's mother, uncertain of her position, and tearful; young Alf, with shoulders slightly hunched, and holding his cap squeezed in his left hand; Alice with her hands dropped and clasped before her.

It was soon over. The clergyman crossed the Prayer-book with the ring - that ring! We knelt. Pious hands waved in blessing over the kneeling pair; and Alfred Eric (the names gave me quite a start) and Alice Maud were pronounced man and wife in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.

The verger drove the wedding-party into the vestry. I dodged, and went without.

Outside, the wind was picking twigs from the churchyard trees, and sending them hopping down the path. It had been down all the side streets, gathering up waste paper and refuse of all kinds, which it sent careering round and round the church.

The minutes dragged heavily as I walked up and down, speculating upon the future of young Alf and his bride. I hoped he would be kind to her. (pp. 274-5)
Yeah, and I hope for the winning Powerball numbers and a trophy wife. Let's see whose ridiculous wish comes true first.

There was a bit of a delay in the group's departure as Alf haggled with the parson over what he was expected to pay for the service. Alice's mom had given Alf the amount the night before, but "I told the parson I adn't got no shillins an' 'e let me off. Reckon 'e makes is little bit awright."
Alice had climbed up behind again, her mother beside her. Young Alf and a male supporter mounted in front; and indeterminate friends filled the vacant places. My wedding present was offered and accepted.

Young Alf cracked his whip, and, as the pony started with a willing effort, Alice handed her mother her pocketbandkerchief. I stood watching them as they pounded up the road. They swung round the square, and young Alf, looking back, waved his whip at me. And so young Alf turned the corner. (p. 276)
Do I detect a whiff of sarcasm in that last line? Because if Rook's playing on the square with us, he's far too optimistic to be really effective on the crime beat.

Whether you swallow it or not, that's where we leave Alf the Hooligan: riding off into the sunset in a stolen pony-cart to his threadbare apartment, where he'll either launch his new wedded life of small-time thievery and domestic violence or follow his dad's example and run off on his pregnant wife when it dawns on him how totally screwed he is. Oh, happy day!

Next: sleep. After That: the post-game report.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

The Hooligan Nights Chapter 20: And Here Comes The Sermonette

You might remember when we started this book that author Rook wasn't going to push for a moral. "I do not know that there is any particular moral to be drawn from this book," he said, "and in any case I shall leave you to draw it for yourself." You'll also remember that I took this as a good sign.

Well, I suppose Rook just couldn't resist. Chapter 20 ("Politics", which was Chapter 15 in the HTML text that gave me fits) gives us a concentrated bout of moralism. But first, a wonderland of scene-setting delight:
Young Alf was late for his appointment. We had arranged to meet on the Embankment in the neighbourhood of Cleopatra's Needle, at eleven; and the quarter past had just boomed from Westminster. It was a clear night, with a full moon shining and turning the Thames into a fairy river spanned by bridges of gossamer. Have you never seen Charing Cross railway bridge by moonlight? As I came up in the train I encountered a party of people who were going out to see the illuminations, for it was the Prince of Wales' birthday. Why do people not go out in parties to lean over the parapet of the Embankment and watch the Thames by moonlight? The river always has its fascination. On a dark night, when the drizzle drenches to the skin, and the Embankment is empty of its customary tenants, the river is mysterious, and a little bit awful. Awful, because you can see nothing of it. Only an occasional flicker of light through the rain. You hear the pull of engines, which cross the sky and now and then stop to whistle impatiently. Now and again the throb of a passing tug, which, unseen, steals out of hearing. Below you, the lap of the water against the concrete - the wash from the stern of the tug. You lean over, and look into blackness. You think of despairing women who cast themselves over bridges into the outstretched arms of death. A boat creeps into hearing; there are pauses between the strokes, as though the rower were given to meditation. The river-police. Yes; it is the Styx, and here is Charon.

But this evening it was fairyland. The tide was at the full, and the moonlight transfigured the sordid details of the Surrey side. Fairyland in front, as you leaned over the parapet and watched the silver path of the moon upon the river break into ten million diamonds as the tug crossed it. But turn, and you are facing the Inferno. (pp. 236-7)
Of course, this time all this dandy pinky-out cloud-gazing is setting the stage for a touch of social realism, which makes all that fairyland talk easier to take.
In the distance, somewhere, someone is playing a tune on a penny whistle:

' Oh! Come all ye Faithful,
Joyful and triumphant!'

An enterprising musician, with a sense of the fitness of things; for we are near the season of Advent, when our mood demands that hymn. Here comes one of them, too. Neither joyful nor triumphant, but shuffling along upon a leg that is manifestly inadequate to its task. He stops now and then; and then he comes on. You could have told him, having walked along from Charing Cross. The seats are full. He must be new to misery if he expects to find an empty seat on the Embankment after eleven at night, and not a cold night. Why, already there are some, less lucky than the rest, sleeping on the pavement, their backs propped against the parapet.

He passes on, and I see no more of him. No doubt there is plenty of room in Trafalgar Square, or if that by any chance is full, Hyde Park is a spacious bedroom.

Save for an occasional cab the Embankment is very quiet. Now and then an arm is flung, or a dim form shifts with a grunt into an easier position. But, on the whole, it is an abode of silence. Early rising is the rule among those who sleep on the Embankment, and that renders it advisable to go to sleep as early as possible. The lap-lap of the river against the Embankment wall was a sort of lullaby. (pp. 237-8)
And through this scene of quiet desperation comes Alf, fresh from a run-in with the local Salvation Army. As you can imagine, Alf isn't a big fan of would-be reformers, especially the ones who treat their field trip to the lower classes like a jaunt to the London Zoo.
'But,' I objected, 'I'm always hearing of Associations, and Societies, and Leagues, and so on, which aim at raising the - I mean they aim at giving you a chance. Why, there are young men who come from Oxford and Cambridge and live in settlements in the lowest quarters of London in order to - well - in order to give you a-'

'I know all about that,' said young Alf. 'There's toffs come down Lambef way, an' I've showed 'em round. One night two of 'em come an' arst me an' Maggots to show 'em round. Show 'em everyfink, they said. One of 'em was a orfer.'

'A - what?'

'Orfer, wrote about fings in the papers.'

'Ah, of course.'

'So me an' Maggots walked round wiv 'em, an' showed 'em where the fences lived, an' one or two uvver fings, you unnerstand. An' then they wanted to see some more, wanted to see where I kipped, if you please. So I fort it was time to pull down their ear. Wasn't likely we'd get much if we waited till the show was over. See? So I says there was a doss close by, an' what was they goin' to spring. Well, we couldn't pull down their ear for more'n 'arf a dollar. An' soon as we got that we nipped on to a tram and left 'em. No. They 'adn't seen nuffink. What you fink?'

'Well, I expect they were rather disappointed,' I said.

'Fort they was goin' to see 'orrors,' continued young Alf, 'an' they didn't see nuffink. I know that sort. Come down jest as if they was goin' to look at a lot o' wild beasties. I sin 'em, too, when a lot o' prisoners was bein' took from one jug to anuvver. Starin' at 'em, - somefink cruel. I bin there meself. Why can't they take the prisoners early in the mornin' when there ain't no one about; or else late at night when no one can't see 'em? Eh? They don't give us a chawnce. Not a 'arf chawnce.'

Young Alf's eyes gleamed rather savagely, and he spoke as though he meant what he was saying. I seemed to have struck a deeper layer of his nature.

'What'd be the good o' me tryin' to go straight?' asked young Alf. 'Fink they'd let me? not them.' (pp. 241-3)
And at this point, the chapter jumps the tracks...big time. For this is the point where the electric lights burning at Westminster inspires Rook to launch into a heavy-handed civics lesson.
'It's a big place,' I continued, looking up the river at the Houses of Parliament, with their rows of lighted windows and the little button of electric light on top. 'Inside, seven hundred of the finest men in Great Britain. Behind them, the civil service, the police, and the British Army and Navy - all bent on making you a good boy. It's long odds, young Alf Then there's the Church, too; with the archbishops and the clergy of the diocese, curates, and all; to say nothing of ministers of all denominations, district visitors and philanthropists. Vestries, too, and Parish Councils, and - Lord, yes! - the London County Council. The Lord Chamberlain and the Censor of Plays as well; the Lord Mayor and Aldermen, and the Common Councillors, and the Judges of first instance, and the Judges of- Good gracious me! young Alf! All this mass of authority against nine stone something of lawlessness. You can't fight it, young Alf. Parliament, police, Judges, Army, Navy, and Reserve Forces, with Her Majesty the Queen at the summit, - you had better step over to the other side and shout with the bigger crowd, young Alf.'

'What's the use o' talkin'?' said young Alf again. I looked around at him. His teeth were set hard. (pp. 244-5)
Which is the effect it had on me, coincidentally. But wait, there's more, because it turns out Alf has a few reform-minded ideas of his own if he was fronting his own Hooligan political party. He's got two main planks in his platform:
  1. Catch 'em young before they get too big a mouthful of the sideways path. Before they start going crooked, take them entirely out of their neighborhoods and teach them a proper trade.
  2. Do not send juvies to jail. His reasoning here is that jail only has the power to terrify if you haven't done a stint, and once it's not a mystery, it might be more of an inconvenience than a proper deterrent. Alf recommends reform school, which is totally different. *snort*
Which is all well and good, but does this stuff for the greater good sound like "our" Alf, the Alf who couldn't give a piss in the wind about the so-called "greater good" unless he was working an angle? As if to drive that home, this bit of pie in the sky is immediately followed by defeatism: "Oh, Parlymint's no good. That's what Jimmy's always said. You got to look after yerself. No one else won't. They don't give us a chawnce." He also doesn't view the prison option as entirely unbearable. Even solitary confinement gives you a bit of quiet to form more of your bad ideas.
'But what about this prison-gate mission?' I said. 'I always understood that when a prisoner came out of gaol, he was met at the gates, taken to have breakfast, and offered a chance of living an honest life.'

Then young Alf gave his opinion of the prison home which well-meaning philanthropists offer to the discharged prisoner. I fancy he was prejudiced, and I will not set forth his criticism in detail. But, in effect, his opinion was that there is not enough difference between the prison and the home outside the gates to induce a boy to choose the certainty of the latter rather than the chance of the former. Moreover, if you are not a skilled workman at some trade other than house-breaking or pocket-picking, you won't get wages enough to live on. If you are a skilled workman, you will get less than the ordinary rate of wages, because you are only taken on as a favour, being a discharged prisoner. Oh, no! Politics don't give you a chance.

'But there's always some pals to meet you when you done your time,' continued young Alf. You come out in the mornin', feelin' as if all the world was against you, an' there's free or four pals waitin' wiv a word o' welcome. Makes you feel you've got some frens left. See? An' then you 'ear what's bin goin' on, an' if anyfink big's comin' off. See? It's the symperfy.'

Young Alf's hands were dug deep into his pockets, and his shoulders were hunched about his ears. (pp. 251-2)
As it turns out, Alf actually did have a really and truly honest job once. It didn't end well, but it wasn't his fault.
'[...]It was a real honest job, strite. I 'ad a place at a general store, - coals an' grocery, and fings like that; an' fore long I 'ad the management of the ole show; I was as careful of every penny of me master's money as I was of me own, an' took a dam sight more care of it than what 'e did. An' then one day there comes a split pokin' 'is nose into the show. Sin me drivin' round wiv the pony cart. See? An' 'e tells my master that I done time. Then what appened?'

'Well?'

' 'Course I got the push.'

'That was hard lines.'

'Got a bit o' me own back, though.'

'How was that?'

'I see what was comin'. An' when I took the pony on me rounds, I taught 'im not to let anybody drive 'im but me. See? I can always get along wiv anyfink in the shape of a 'awse; an' fore I'd done wiv that pony 'e'd do anyfink I told 'im to. An' no one else couldn't 'andle 'im. I reckon they 'ad a fair ole time wiv that pony when I got the push. 'Arf killed the master, I unnerstand.'

Young Alf thought he must be going.

'Supposing someone were to offer you a job,' I said.

'I bin finkin',' said young Alf. 'If I could get a job as watchman.'

'Watchman!'

The idea seems ludicrous enough.

'Look 'ere,' he said. 'You know them spy-'oles they 'ave in shops - an' places - so's the copper can look in, eh? well, they ain't no good. 'Cause, if I'm workin' a shop like that, I've got me pal outside, an' when the cop comes along I get the wheeze, an' lay down unnerneath the spy-'ole, so's the cop can't see me. What they want's a man that'll setup all night an' keep a eye on the place. Don't you fink so? You fink I could get a job as watchman?'

It seemed doubtful.

And yet if I were quite sure that young Alf were on my side, I would ask no better guardian against burglars.

Young Alf watched me narrowly.

'That want's a bit o' c'rac'ter, I s'pose,' he said.

'I'm afraid it does, Alf,' I replied. (pp. 253-5)
Assuming victorianlondon.org was working from the original UK edition (which is being presumptuous, but that's my perogative), I can see why the presumed Chapter 15 ended up as 20 in my copy. After 200+ pages of simply relating the ins and outs of the crooked path, we're suddenly confronted with the most concentrated appeal to higher ideals and aspirations yet. It's not quite as jarring this close to the end as it would be midway through, but it's still waaaaaay out of left field.

Next: Alf has to get married...in a hurry. Wink wink, nudge nudge. We're almost done with #2 and this time I mean it!