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Before we move on, since one of my self-preservation strategies through this project is to "make your own kind of entertainment," the possibility of a drinking game popped up (you see what I named it; hopefully that tells you why I came up with a drinking game). It can be played in a round-robin read-aloud setting with groups, or as a pathetic loser sitting home alone in your underwear. Honestly, I can't decide which setting would be sadder, but whatever gets you through the day...

HI 'BOB!: The Hungarian Nabob Drinking Game

John Kárpáthy:
One shot:
  • when the book calls him Master Jock or Squire John.
  • when he or somebody else comments on his huge...real estate holdings.
  • when he or a member of his party does something which is supposed to be mischievous. Two if you actually laugh. If your designated reader is really good at his/her job, you're screwed.
Two shots:
  • when the narration calls him "the Nabob".
  • whenever another new stately home is introduced.
Three shots:
  • when he or somebody else announces John by his full name, first and last. It has to be in dialogue.

Abellino Kárpáthy:
One shot:
  • when he says something snobbish and/or dickish. It's usually both simultaneously.
  • when one of his schemes hits the inevitable snag.
  • when somebody kicks him out of a place.
  • when he's telling a fanciful lie, or when one of his confederates is spinning a fanciful lie on his behalf. If the lie goes on for more than a page, take a shot for each page they drag it out.
Two shots:
  • when somebody offers him money that he refuses, for whatever reason.
  • when something awful (or awfully hilarious) dawns on him.
Three shots:
  • when somebody offers him money that he actually takes.
  • when you think see his "final humiliation." Obviously this isn't an "everybody drinks" one. You can use your own judgment. Be honest, but remember there are several false positives. This is a penalty phase for those who try to be the "clever kid" in the room.

Fanny Meyer:
One shot:
  • When somebody comments on the low quality of her family.
  • When somebody else thinks or comments on how sad they are for her, or how totally, totally screwed she was/is/will be.
Two shots:
  • Any time Fanny stops to think or talk about how totally screwed she is, or someone comments on how very, very miserable she is. If this ur-emo reverie is broken up over several pages, that's two shots for each page, because I'm evil like that.
  • Any time Fanny freaks out above and beyond "typical" expectations.
  • Any time somebody totally misreads Fanny's motivations. That's for each time it happens in an individual scene, not for the entire incident.
And last, but by no means least:
  • Chug a full glass every time Mike Kis has dialogue after Chapter 3. Damn straight I'm still bitter about that one.
If you have any other ideas, drop it into a comment. Like everybody else on the Intertubes, I'm desperate for attention.


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